Calm in the choas

I am always so glad when it's time for the school holidays as it means life becomes that bit calmer amongst the chaos.

Since Roo started nursery then school I realised I could see a pattern happening. In term time things can often be full of chaos both at home and in school..Roo has good days and bad days just like everyone else but in his case he cannot communicate what is bothering him on the rough days...as the end of term approaches I find he becomes more exhausted, more stubborn, unwilling to cooperate, not wanting to do things.

I remember his last few mths at nursery were hell as he refused to walk into the nursery and also some days refused to walk out of nursery...sometimes he cried and fought against me but I assumed it was because I was heavily pregnant with his sister and that he was just playing up like I was told by others. A peaceful summer followed and he started his first year at school... at the beginning and end of each term he would be very reluctant to go to school. But most days he enjoyed school despite this reluctance and some days he found it difficult but we weathered the storm. As the end of the school year approached he started to play up again, refusing to go into the car and having to be carried screaming and making himself go either rigid or floppy so that I couldn't buckle the seatbelt. Quite often we were late in dropping my other son off due to this. He would only go into school if his own teacher came out to the middle of the playground and take his hand. At the end of the school day he would come out and hug me tight which he never used to do and I loved it as it showed me that he missed me!!

This summer has been so lovely, we have had very little meltdowns from Roo, his stubbornness also reduced a lot and you could see how relaxed he was in not having to put uniform on and making the daily school run. Admittingly we have spent a lot of the summer at home in familiar surroundings as it's quite hard for me to take him out on my own with Faith so young and reliant on me still as sometimes in other places he will refuse to move or walk or gets emotional and he is no longer a little boy that I can easily lift up to cuddle or carry when he can't go any further or if he can't deal with the moment. He is coming up to 7yrs and is a tall, heavy boy and with my hip issues I really struggle to lift him so it's often much easier to stay at home. On the very few occasions that I have been brave enough to go out often ends up with my eldest son having to help me and we be exhausted. Roo is quite happy to play in the garden, play with a bucket of water, playdoh, or when he just doesnt want to do anything his iPad helps to chill him out. I read about how my other fellow sen mums talk about how they hate the holidays because the lack of routine makes their kids struggle to cope causing many meltdowns etc and I am the total opposite in that the holidays make my child calmer and dare I say "easier" to cope with . We have been lucky to have a fab carer who has taken him out every week for 1:1 time and it allows me to have quality time with my other children or to simply lay on sofa (if I've been up all night with him) the only meltdowns we really have had are when his brothers aren't being tolerant to his actions or if he is exhausted.

But even though Roo has been so calm this summer we have noticed that he has become more anxious about things, gets scared easily compared to before...he loves watching trains but when we go to the station he is scared of the trains whizzing by, has to be carried into the train but once in he enjoys himself although he cannot sit and relax, he moves constantly about the whole journey, take him to the park and he will no longer go on the swings, won't go on round about or tall slides but he will happily do the toddler slides or the rockers but any thing else is a big no...if you try to persuade him he will shake or cry or scream, when on holiday he didn't like a lot of things so we often had to stop or move away. Not sure if this is a temporary thing or if this is going to be another issue for him to deal with.

Time came for school uniform shopping and seeing how he refuses to wear new clothes and has to be gently introduced to them I decided to start early but no matter what I could not get him to try on his trousers or school polo shirts so I have just got the next size up from last year and I just hope they fit on on the day!! He screams if I try to put them on him..took him to shop to try on school jumper as with his big head this is a big issue so this year I decided to try v neck jumpers and they are much easier but in order to see if it fitted Roo went into full on meltdown mode,  screaming and panicking everytime we put the jumper over his head...quite hard to watch him like that... I have tried to prepare him for the last week about going back to school but he looks panicky and says "No go" or runs away to hide... tomorrow he starts Primary 2 and i have no idea what his new teacher is like, who his 1:1 is going to be so cannot prepare him on that front so that doesn't help...

While all the parents are looking forward to their kids going back to school I am silently dreading it because of the unknown, the fact he hates his uniform, I'm dreading the fights to get him into the car, hoping that he will go into school tomorrow ok, hoping that he manages a good day,  hoping for no meltdowns at the end of the school day..

This is the last day of the calm before the chaos causes a storm that we will just have to ride until he becomes used to the new routine and becomes calmer...till the next holidays!