Similar paths but is it the right decision?

It's strange to be actually following a similar path to your child.

My daughter was born with sensineural bilateral hearing loss and so was I.

The difference between us is that she was born into a world where technology is much more advanced.

As a child I had to wear huge "hearing aids " that were the size of a small box that was worn on my chest and at times felt heavy then behind the ears aids were brought out which I thought was fab. As I've gotten older my profound hearing loss has gradually progressed to the point where no hearing aid , even the most powerful one would give me much benefit.

I was offered a cochlear implant but refused as I was unsure if it was the right thing to hearing aids were then brought out a few years ago and they stopped the analogue hearing aids so we were all "forced" to change to this digital aid with thw promise that it would be the best thing ever but instead it left many in the deaf world even more isolated because they were nothing like the analogue aids, they were quieter and actually made life much harder as the sounds we could hear before either no longer existed or sounded totally different like quieter etc.

I decided enough was enough and asked to be referred for assessment to have a cochlear implant... this was in forward 6mths and I had the operation last week. All went well with the surgery and was told to go home rest & recover from the surgery until my "switch on" in a few wks time.

One thing I never anticipated was how painful it has been... I'm told many recover and become pain free within several days but there are a few who seem to suffer a bit longer and I seem to be one of them...the pain is quite intense, sharp , throbbing at times. I am still taking painkillers religiously but they don't take the pain away completely. I feel completely drained from the constant pain.

It has made me think a lot about Faith...she is currently undergoing assessment for cochlear implants too and I worry if it the right decision, if she is too young. I hate the thought that she will be in pain like I have been and no mother wants their child to be in pain do they?

Cochlear implants were first mentioned to us at 4wks old but we resisted as we felt she needed the chance to have hearing aids. I didn't want to be pushed into a decision when we didn't know the extent of her hearing loss.

We have had quite a few hearing tests, she has had her hearing aids turned up many times but still she barely reacts, some loud sounds right next to her we see a reaction but overall in general we have seen very little, because of this she is delayed in some areas and thinking about her future we want her to be able to achieve everything she possibly can so when the cochlear implant subject was raised again we decided to do the assessment route and see what the outcome is and if she will benefit from them before making the decision.

I guess because I'm having a bit of a rough time pain wise it's making me question whether its the right decision for Faith but I know deep down that it will be if the hearing aids continue to be of no benefit to her.

I have spoken to several other parents who children have gone down this route and they all have said it's been the best decision they have ever made as it's opened a new world of sound for their children..thats what I want for be able to hear things that I never was able to, to have the benefits of both worlds - deaf & hearing.

Is it the right decision?  Who knows... I'm kind of glad I have the implant first as then I can understand when she experiences it herself although it will be easier for her than me embarking on this journey as she is so young so knows no difference whereas I need to train my brain after spending all my life struggling with hearing aids. ..

I 'll prob be a lot more positive once I have the switch on and hopefully by that time my pain will have lessened enormously...