This is My Child...

Bear with me...I'm a bit rusty as haven't written on the blog for a while due to the summer holidays! But there is a new campaign going around at the moment specifically about special needs children and they have been asking for bloggers to add their posts so I thought I could try and write one up about Roo.

We knew Roo had problems from a very young age ( 11wks) and while we struggled to come to terms with how our lives would never be the same again I was glad in a sense that I didn't have to explain to people as to outsiders his issues weren't obvious and whenever we went out he was always in his car seat or buggy and no one blinked, no one stared as to them I was a normal mum taking her child shopping, a walk etc. It was only as Roo got older that his problems became more noticeable and started to attract unwanted attention.

Although Roo will be 3 in November he has only been walking for 10 mths & he isn't a great walker as he loses balance very easily as his joints are too flexible & low tone muscle..he cannot run, jump or walk safely in public...some days he walks like a "drunk" as he tires easily & sometimes suffers pains in his legs, due to his balance he tends to walk with his arms up or to the side to help him with balance - similar to how a 10 -12mth old would be like when they first start walking...well one day I decided to let Roo walk a few metres to our car from the shop B&Q and I noticed this man staring at him then he saw me looking at him and asked me if Roo was mine,, I replied "yes" and he said "he walks funny" and proceeded to copy Roo and burst out laughing.. I walked away with tears in my eyes and quickly lifted Roo up into my arms... Looking back I wished I had said something but at the time I was just shocked and didn't expect the flood of emotions that would come from one person's actions. It hit me there and then that Roo was "different" and I thought if he thought of him that way then does that mean everyone else thinks the same? People just don't think...this is my child & this is the way he is...what gives them the right to make fun of the way he walks, don't they realise that he may have special needs? 

Roo is non verbal & we don't know if he will ever speak, he cannot communicate in any form but we are trying very hard with sign language in the hope that he will pick it up... Many times lately I have had people come up to him when he is in the trolley or buggy & start asking him questions...when he doesn't reply they look at me for an explanation...I tell them that he is unable to speak and before I get a chance to explain they will tut tut and shake their heads disapprovingly before walking off... This hurts a lot as I would love it if my child could speak...Instead of tutting they could have just asked "why" & I would happily explain... I don't mind talking about Roo disabilities as its important for others to learn but in this day and age people are so quick to judge & comment rather than take the time to think before speaking...

There are days when Roo is crying, screaming, whingy & nothing I can do will give him comfort so sometimes I just have to leave him be and carry on with my shopping or walking and I've lost count of the number of people who point,stare and whisper to each other probably to say that I'm an awful mum who doesn't care that her child is screaming etc" when in reality I care very much, I walk with tears in my eyes as I feel helpless to help Roo when he is like that...I have been told to "shut that child up" ...my reply is " shut up yourself" ...

Most recently we were awarded a blue badge to help us with the parking as Roo is waiting on a specialist car seat, has a special needs buggy/wheelchair and although I was glad to get one as it would mean no more struggling to get Roo in and out of his car seat, space to set up his buggy at the same time I was sad that he needed one...but the stares we get when we park in a disabled bay is unbelievable...you can see them thinking "whats wrong with them, they don't deserve a badge" , their eyes follow you all the time you are sorting out the buggy etc... old people are the worse..they seem to think that disabled parking bays are just for them and not for the younger generation...they say "you can walk" & I say " so can you" ... I don't even make the effort to explain its for my child..Once we went to Tesco's & we were putting our shopping into the car when a car parked in the disabled bay next to us...an old couple who were giving us filthy looks, pointing at us and muttering among themselves...Once I got into the car the woman got out and stood in front of my car staring while her husband sat in the car staring at me....I stared back and the woman walked off...as I reversed out of space her partner got out of car and looked at our blue badge! The cheek...

No matter where we go whether its to the swimming pool or park we are always started at due to Roo behaviour or the way he acts..its clear to see that he doesn't behave like a 3 yr old should...he is more like a 12mth old...I am aware that the older he gets the more stares , comments we will get... its time that people learned that there are many different special needs and that they shouldn't be so quick to judge, to comment...  You think adults would be more accepting, more understanding but in fact I find its the children who are more accepting and its only when they get older that the attitudes of those adults rub onto them...its time for the world to be more understanding of the issues that come with a special needs child...

This is My Child - yes he has special needs but he is also funny,cheeky & has a wicked sense of humour & I wish people can see that...